Happy Father's Day

For every story...

And every sit-up...

For every time she curled up and fell asleep...

And every mad-cap swirling, whirling tire swing ride...

And for every kiss, cuddle, tickle, tea party, "up high" ride on the shoulders...

We love you daddy.

Happy Father's Day.

Put a Fork in Me

Our earliest indication that something was not right with our newly-adopted 10-month-old popped up when we first tried to feed her.

Sure, Little Miss had some motor and language delays -- but we had been told to expect that. The inconsistent care pattern resulting from four different sets of "parents" over those first 10 months practically dictated it -- never mind the culture shock she must have felt upon coming to America.

But surely... surely after being given time to settle in and attach -- the child would eat.

My memories of those days are still vivid. I sat next to Little Miss while she struggled in the antique high chair -- tears streaming down her face. I felt like such a failure... unable to even feed my child.

We have tried so. many. things. Occupational therapy, brushing, joint compressions, toweling, massage, bribes, sticker charts, specialized spoons, cups, vibrating tooth brushes... if there was some technique or tool out there reported to help a child eat, we've done it.

We thought we had a revelation with the soy/dairy thing. For a while, Little Miss's appetite picked up -- it was almost worth the fact that we had to eliminate about half the foods she would willingly eat.

But with Little Miss, feeding goes in phases -- and the latest phase? It's the worst downturn we have ever had.

Little Miss's average daily diet currently consists of a piece of fruit, 2-3 chicken nuggets, and 1/4-1/2 cup of something crunchy (cereal, crackers, pretzels, chips, etc.). She's even cut back on the amount of almond milk she drinks. She couldn't finish a chocolate chip cookie.

She has low energy. She's cranky. She has returned to needing daily naps -- and she still goes to bed by 8 PM at the latest.

She asks for food, then refuses to eat it -- telling us, "it's yucky!" If we press her or try the "first XX, then reward" strategy, she tantrums. Two days ago, she flung her plate across the kitchen table and broke it.

It's probably time to bring in yet another specialist. The number for the pediatrician calls from my address book. I need help with this Little Miss... again. And I hate it.

Scripting Nemo

Little Miss goes through these movie obsessions where she decides to watch the same movie, every day (sometimes multiple times per day). The movie will be repeatedly requested... then demanded... until a meltdown ensues.

The obsessions typically last a couple months and usually rotate between 4-5 movies... Shrek (only the first movie), Kung Fu Panda (again, only the first), Beauty & The Beast, How to Train Your Dragon, and... Nemo (our latest flavor du-jor).

In watching her "shows," Little Miss also tends to pick up lines and re-use them. For example, when she's mad at me or the hubs, Little Miss will angrily shout "YOU'RE A MONSTER!" It took us a couple months to figure that one out, but sure enough, if you fast forward Shrek to the scene where Lord Farquad is interrogating the gingerbread man in the dungeon and wait for it... wait for it...

So, Nemo... fast forward past the sad part where Nemo's mom gets eaten (make sure to shout "HE ATE HER!" each and every time you see that part) and you get to the "First Day of School" scene. Marlin says "you forgot to brush..." (meaning, Nemo didn't brush up against the anemone to keep it from stinging him), and Nemo sighs. Marlin, exasperated, asks "do you want this anemone to sting you?!" Nemo answers "YESsss!" (video here, if you feel the need to re-live the moment)


Well, guess who picked that line up and is using it perfectly -- as often as she can?

Me: "Little Miss, do you want to have an accident in your underwear?"
LM: "Yesss!"

Me: "LM, do you want to sit time out?"
LM: "Yesss!"

Me: "LM, do you want me to take all your toys and throw them in the trash?"
LM: "Yesss!"

I know, I know... I need to stop setting her up. And I promise, when I get one free brain cell, I really really will. But for now, does anyone want me to quit telling this story and just hit "Publish?"

Soy/Dairy Free Protein-Packed Chocolate Pancakes

Little Miss has been self-limiting again and it seems that this time around she has decided that all meats are "yucky." It's been about a week and a half since she had any real protein and the hubs and I were starting to get a little worried.

Of course, protein isn't such a big deal if you have a kid who can tolerate soy. You just pick up some protein shakes or bars and viola! Both those bars and shakes? PACKED with soy. It was time to get creative. After a little Googling, the hubs found Chocolate Hemp Protein on Amazon. It was worth a try, right?

Amazon Prime had the hemp protein at our door in a couple of days and we gleefully mixed up a chocolate almond milk for Little Miss. She took a sip, proclaimed "it's delicious!" and promptly refused to drink any more (yeah... we need to work on the definition of "delicious" -- either that or find the movie she's scripting that response from).

More creative measures would be required.

The hubs suggested pancakes. Little Miss has never been a big pancake eater, but we figured why not? So, I dragged out my favorite scratch pancake recipe and set to work.

• 3/4 cup flour
• 1/4 cup chocolate hemp protein powder (such as Manitoba Harvest Certified Organic Dark Chocolate Hemp Protein Powder)
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 cup vanilla almond milk (such as Silk Vanilla Almond Milk)
• 1 egg
• 2 tbsp soy/dairy free margarine, melted (such as Earth Balance Soy-Free Buttery Spread)
• 1 tbsp corn oil (plus more as needed)

Directions
1. Combine all ingredients except for the corn oil in a medium-sized mixing bowl. Make sure there are no lumps and the flour has been beaten in smoothly.

2. Heat corn oil in a large skillet until a drop of water sizzles on contact. Tilt skillet to coat the metal evenly with oil.

3. Ladle batter into skillet. (I like to make my pancakes about 4 inches around -- this takes a little over 2 tbsp full of batter each).

4. Cook pancakes until bubbles begin to appear in the dough around the edges, then flip and cook about 1 minute more.

5. Serve hot with your favorite toppings (although Little Miss loved them as plain finger food!)

Makes about eight 4-inch pancakes (Little Miss ate three in one sitting -- so I think we're going to need to double the recipe next time!)

Potty Training: "Big Day" Style

If you've been hanging around the Dryer Vent, you know that we've tried a lot of different things to help Little Miss gain independence with toileting. There have been charts, visual schedules, potty talk, impromptu Yo Gabba Gabba encouragement, custom "big girl" underwear, potty treasures, and then some. We tried really, really hard last summer and basically got nowhere. I kept meaning to start up again during the school year, but it was either a bad time or -- after the beginning of this year, we were dealing with way too much seizure activity to even think about it. Plus, I was spent.

But it's time.

Little Miss knows when she's gone and she can stay dry for periods of time if she wants to. So, we decided to call in the big guns. We signed up for a "Big Day" style potty training boot camp. Now don't get me wrong... this has not been a magic bullet. It has taken a lot of work and even more tears -- but we have made progress. Given that, I thought I'd spend a little time today to talk about what we've been through so far.

So what is a Big Day, anyhow?

The basic premise of the Big Day (which is actually quite a bit more than a day) is to slowly increment the amount of time in which a child is expected to stay dry. The decision to increment is based on data collected during multiple trials on and off the potty.

Each time Little Miss goes to the bathroom, we collect the following information:

• Date/time
• Pee/poop/both
• Length of time sitting before urinating
• Length of time spent urinating
• Length of break
• Yes/no dry on break
• Clothing/proximity notes
• Reinforcement given

We started with  a 15-minute break between each trip to the toilet. During the 15 minutes, Little Miss had no pants/underwear on so that a) we could quickly see if she was having an accident and get her to the toilet and b) her clothing would not distract her when it came time to sit.

Obviously, if a child is expected to go to the toilet every 15 minutes, you need to pass a LOT of fluids -- so we always had Little Miss's favorite drinks on the ready. She was also given lots of salty snacks to help make her thirsty.

If we had three successful 15-minute breaks in a row (no accidents), we were allowed to increase the amount of break time by 5 minutes. If there was an accident during the break, Little Miss had to return to the potty immediately and sit until she could go again. We also had to start over with the break interval (so, for example, if we were on trial #2 for 20-minute breaks, we would have to go back to trial #1 and try to get three in a row again).

Later. Rinse. Repeat.

We have been gaining about 5 minutes each day and we're now up to 50-minute breaks. And there have been LOTS of accidents. But 50 minutes is almost enough to actually leave the house and I'm thrilled. The best part about the process is that it's relatively simple (just time consuming) and I can handle most of the trials/data collection myself. That means that after paying for assistance from a BCBA on days 1 and 2, we were able to taper off and cut the cost of the program dramatically.

The Inevitable Power Struggle
We all knew some kind of power struggle was coming and it just so happened to show up on day 3. And this, my friends, is why I wholeheartedly recommend that you have the help of an experienced BCBA to implement your Big Day.

Little Miss was having accident after accident after accident. We had 5 trials on Monday night and at least 5 accidents. We could not get more than a 30-minute break. I was frustrated. To. No. End. I called our BCBA, gave her my data, and asked for help. She told me to take the rest of the night off and we'd get things back on track in the morning.

On Tuesday Morning, Miss Kate (our amazing BCBA) walked me through what was happening. Based on the data, Little Miss was only going *just enough* to get off the toilet. But, 15 minutes later, she had a full bladder and couldn't hold it anymore -- so, Niagara Falls. Since we already knew from the data over the weekend that Little Miss could empty her bladder while she was sitting, the data pointed to a power struggle.

I was dismissed for the morning's trials and Miss Kate had "a talk" with Little Miss. Two drops in the potty? Unacceptable. Little Miss now had to wait until she went for 1-2 seconds. She. Was. Pissed.

But the power struggle? After plenty of tears, moaning, and complaining -- Miss Kate and I won. We suddenly had the breakthrough that we were waiting for and breezed through 30 minutes, 35 minutes, 40 minutes, and 45 minutes.

Last Thoughts
I hate potty training. I hate sitting in the bathroom, taking my meals in the bathroom, and waiting... and waiting. In fact, I'm rather convinced that I would prefer to go to prison over potty training another child.

But this Big Day thing? It actually works (or, it has worked -- so far). I can totally get behind the idea of slowly training Little Miss to feel what's going on inside her bladder (from a sensory standpoint this totally makes sense) and keeping data has already proven beneficial. So, onward and outward... and if you need me? I'll be in the laundry room washing another load of little undies.